Real Talk w/Terry

Month: January 2012

A New Year ~ A Fresh Start

We have officially sealed 2011 and are well into the first month of 2012. With every new year, should come a fresh start. A lot of people re-evaluate their lives at the end of the year and use this time to eliminate and energize. Leading most to make New Year’s resolutions at the end of the year by committing to doing or not doing one thing to be better in the new year. As a result, at the beginning of the new year, most of us feel refreshed and renewed; out with the old, in with the new.

The ancient Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts.

The Romans began each year by making promises to the god Janus, for whom the month of January is named.

In the Medieval era, the knights took the “peacock vow” at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry.

At watchnight services, many Christians prepare for the year ahead by praying and making these resolutions.

There are other religious parallels to this tradition. During Judaism’s New Year, Rosh Hashanah, through the High Holidays and culminating in Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), one is to reflect upon one’s wrongdoings over the year and both seek and offer forgiveness. People may act similarly during the Christian fasting period of Lent, though the motive behind this holiday is more of sacrifice than of  responsibility, in fact the practice of New Year’s resolutions partially came from the Lenten sacrifices. The concept, regardless of creed, is to reflect upon self-improvement annually. Source: Wikipedia

If you haven’t already what better time to re-evaluate the relationships in your life. For married couples periodic re-evaluation is extremely important. After couples have been together for a significant amount of time, things change – people change. The person you married, may not be the same person that you are currently married to. As time passes, most people actually grow up and their values change. With time, many couples settle into complacency and routine, which often leads to boredom.

A few things married couples can do to re-evaluate their relationship is to openly discuss family and personal goals and make sure that their goals are still aligned with one another; discuss the current state of their family and marriage ensuring that both partners are happy with where they are and if not what steps will be taken to get on the road to happy; and lastly discuss their intimacy and sex life making sure that there is fulfillment for both.

I once heard the saying that people in our lives either add to it, subtract from it, multiply, or divide. As this relates to marriage, this is a new year and the perfect time to re-evaluate those things that subtract from, divide and negatively affect our marriage and start anew.

Three Lies Women Have Been Told About Men

Steve Harvey recently appeared on the Dr. Oz show. One of his segments was on 3 Lies Women Have Been Told About Men. I admit, I have heard these “lies” and a couple of them I actually believe, however, Mr. Harvey shared a male perspective on the following 3 lies women spread about men:
1. Once a cheater, always a cheater – according to Mr. Harvey, if a man cheats on his wife or mate this does not necessarily mean that he will always cheat and that a man will cheat if he is unhappy in a relationship. Mr. Harvey posed the question that if a man is happy in his relationship, why would he cheat. He went on to say that men can be reformed over time – a man could have been a cheater when he was younger, but this does not necessarily mean that he will continue being a cheater.
2. The way to a man’s heart, is through his stomach – this is one that many women grew up hearing, me included. I was actually motivated to learn how to cook and made strides to become a “very good” cook with the goal of pleasing my future husband. According to Mr. Harvey there is a way to a man’s heart, but it’s not his stomach. The way to a man’s heart is through loyalty, support, and “the cookie.”
3. Men are intimidated by strong women – according to Mr. Harvey, men are not afraid of [strong] women and that the woman needs to realize that she does need a man for something. I once heard the statement that weak men are intimidated by strong women and that a strong man in fact desires a strong woman.
What are your thoughts? Do you believe that a cheating man can be reformed? Is it really true that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? Are men really intimidated by a strong woman?


I want to hear from you.