Real Talk w/Terry (formerly Relationships-411)

When They See Us

The Netflix series, When They See Us is based on the Exonerated Central Park Five: Raymond Santana Jr., Kevin Richardson, Antron McCray, Korey Wise and Yusef Salaam who were wrongfully convicted of raping a white woman in 1989 has once again rattled the community. A serial rapist later confessed to the crime, but not before the men had spent between six to 13 years in prison.

I personally chose not to watch the series for my own mental health. I have read about the incident and watched various news reports and a documentary about the case. The Netflix series has many of us feeling like enough talking has been done, it’s time for real action – a change for the better in the American justice system.

But where do we start? How do we reform a system that wasn’t designed to protect blacks and other minorities in the first place? How do we deal with corrupt cops, unethical prosecutors and judges?

I don’t have the answers, but agree, a change has to come real soon.

Check out my interview with retired Judge LaDoris Cordell, immediate past Independent Auditor for the San Jose Police Department. Judge Cordell discusses how someone should conduct themselves if and when they are stopped by a cop, The Peace Officers Duty Manual – a document that the general public is allowed to see, the Blue Lives Matter Movement and more!

Congratulations Michelle Williams and Pastor Chad Johnson

Congrats are in order for Destiny’s Child Michelle Williams and former Youth Pastor and Professional Sports Chaplain, Pastor Chad Johnson! The couple formally announced that they are engaged to be married this summer. For those who have been with this blog family for a couple of years, you may remember, Terry Cato’s interview with Pastor Chad on his call to ministry, relationship status and career.

Pastor Chad is a friend of Relationships-411 and we wish both him and Mich

Credit: Austin and Nicole Barkis / Barkis and Co.
Michelle Williams and Chad Johnson Credit: Austin and Nicole Barkis / Barkis and Co.

elle nothing but love, happiness and success!

More:

Michelle Williams is Engaged! 

Michelle reveals why she waited to tell Beyonce and Kelly about her relationship

Leave Abuse And Never Look Back

I recall the time my ex-fiancé told me that I would never find someone who would treat me as good as he did. For a moment I believed him, then I found my strength and left him.

Ladies (and men) never stay in an abusive relationship for fear of being alone or lonely. You can be in a relationship and still be lonely or unfulfilled. Abuse comes in many forms not just physical; but include: emotional, psychological, and financial.redtues_brokenheart

My ex never physically abused me but was very abusive with his words and the way he treated me. I realize, it’s not easy to leave the abuse or abuser, but you must. Your life (literally) depends on it!

When I broke things off, my ex said, “I will always be a part of your life.” I responded, “no you won’t.” After our conversation, I blocked his number and email and have never looked back.

I am now happily married to a wonderful man, someone far better than I had ever imagined or dreamed of.

All Male Bachelorettes for One Bride 

Some things are static when it comes to weddings. The bride will wear a white dress; there’s something borrowed, something new and something blue. But what is a bride to do when she realizes that all of her closest friends are men?!

Check out what this Engineering student did.

Full Story:

http://www.insideedition.com/headlines/23494-engineering-student-with-no-female-friends-has-all-male-bridesmaids

Husband Defends Wife Against Intruder

Kudos to an 82-year-old former weightlifting champion who successfully subdued and held a would-be intruder until police came. The former champion and hero didn’t feel accolades were necessary stating that he was doing what he felt he should, “….protecting his home and wife from harm …”.

Full News Story:

SJ Elderly Man Heroically Fights Off Home Burglar

Another One Bites the Dust!

You made it through Red Tuesday, which was one week before Valentines Day; and the day when you were most likely to get dumped. And you made it through Valentines Day, now what?!

I personally am not a fan of Valentines Day, I respect the effort to set aside a day for love, but honestly shouldn’t we all be more conscious about showing the one we love how much we admire and care foValentines boxr them at any time? Do we really need for society to “set aside” a day for us? Many say NO. And for that reason, they purposely rebel and don’t recognize Valentines Day at all.

If this is you, I suggest the following to keep the love and romance alive 24/7, 365:

1) Random Acts of Kindness. When your mate least expect it, surprise them with something nice. If they like flowers – send their favorite floral arrangement to their job or have a nice bouquet waiting for them when they get home from work; if they like the spa – give them a spa certificate, a gift card to their favorite coffee shop or department store, the list goes on, be creative;

2) Date Nights. I can not stress enough the importance of not just date nights, but a couple spending quality time together; not talking about the kids or the bills. But sharing your heart with your mate – highs, lows, disappointments, accomplishments, etc.;

3) Words of Affirmation. Saying nice, kind words to your mate is gold. A little goes a long way. Your words should be authentic and from the heart – not even mushy. But simple affirmations like “I appreciate you”, “You look very nice today”, “I like the cologne/perfume you’re wearing”, and “thank you for _____”;

4) A hug and a kiss. What man or woman doesn’t appreciate an unexpected hug and kiss? This is a simple way to show your love and appreciation for your mate –  displays of affection cost nothing but effort; and

5) Listen to them. This is easier said than done for most of us. Often time, our mate simply want to be heard. There is no charge associated with listening. I was taught, we were given two ears and one mouth for a reason – we should be listening twice as much as we talk. Selah.

Finally, be random and opt for the surprise element. But remember to KISS: keep it simple.

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