Category: Ask Terry
Weekly Column Dedicated to Answering Your Relationship Questions/Dilemmas.
Real Talk w/Terry_E8 Men Who Can’t Commit
https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/realtalkwterry/episodes/2022-07-04T02_10_41-07_00
Host Terry Cato welcomes back resident sexpert Pretty Sexucated.
They discuss some men’s inability to commit in a relationship and what happens when you stop allowing the non-commitment type to take up space in your life. #NoLongerABridesmaid
Real Talk w/Terry: After Hours E7_Can Men and Women be Platonic Friends?
https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/realtalkwterry/episodes/2022-05-07T18_00_00-07_00
Terry Cato welcomes back Sexpert, Bre. They discuss the sometimes complicated relationship between men and women. Can men and women be BFFs, and can men and women have a truly platonic relationship.
Relationships 101
The millennials had a lot to say during this episode of Real Talk w/Terry.
Over the Top Promposals
When is too much, just too much?! The latest promposal to go viral is a young man giving his friend a pair of $700+ Louboutins and perfume, and a sign that read, “if the shoe fit makeup your mind”. I personally, would have liked the sign to read, “if the shoe fits, then wear it” … but hey, what do I know? Other than, a lot has changed since I was in high school. Read more…
I Saw my Friend’s Husband Having Dinner with Another Woman…
Question: I saw my friend’s husband having dinner with another woman. What should I do?
My answer: Nothing.
A few months ago, I saw a married man I know at a gas station with another woman. Initially, I thought, “I know this man, I know his wife and the woman he is with right now is not his wife”. For me, this situation was a no-brainer. This is not my business, not my concern – keep it moving. First and foremost, I realize that things aren’t always what they seem. For all I know, this woman could have been his cousin, his niece, a co-worker, etc. The exchange could have been totally innocent. Second, even if infidelity on the husband’s part was true, I have no idea what their marriage arrangement or agreement is. Quite honestly some wives look the other way when their husband’s cheat and don’t want to know about his indiscretions. Third, I didn’t know the wife well enough to discuss such a sensitive topic. 
Back to the original question, “I saw my friend’s husband having dinner with another woman. What should I do?” In this situation, the individual saw their friend’s husband in a what appears to be compromising situation. If this friend is a really close friend, they probably already know a great deal about the person’s relationship status. Therefore, simply casually mentioning that you saw her husband at dinner should be enough. If she wants more detail, share without accusing the husband of anything and let your friend take it from there. Who knows, this could have been a business meeting with a client.
Remember things aren’t always what the seem.
Relationship Hot Topics
As we approach the season of love, (Christmas through Valentine’s Day) where a lot of couples historically get engaged, if I was a betting person – I would bet that half of the couples who will get engaged and then married do not discuss these critical topics BEFORE getting married:
- Finances – who will manage the finances, how will bank accounts be set-up and managed;
- Sex – their view on sex (frequency, preferences/likes, dislikes);
- Children – how many they will have and/or how they will raise them;
- Faith or lack of – their belief system and commitment to their faith;
- Career aspirations/dreams/goals – some people actually talk about their career aspirations with their future spouse, but most fail to discuss their dreams and wants.
If this is you – you have become recently engaged to be married, talk about everything. Don’t just cover the obvious basics: the past, family dynamics, and failed relationships. Discuss sensitive issues, such as your spending habits and view on money/finances; how many children you want and how you will discipline them, how you will introduce them to your faith, etc.; and don’t be afraid to share your dreams with your future spouse.
Communication is KEY in marriage. The foundation for good communication should be laid long before you say “I do”.
Public Shaming: To Shame or Not to Shame
I’ve recently seen these images floating around social media. I’m not sure how effective spousal public shaming is, but I definitely got a laugh out of this.
Your thoughts on a spouse or ex-spouse public shaming the other.
Why Cheat?
I read something on social media the other day, where a person posed the following question, “why do men cheat with a woman who has a nasty house with a Raid bottle behind the sofa?!” Another person responded, “because men are looking for a good lay and women are looking for an upgrade when they cheat.” Wow!…
I don’t know if this theory is true, but it certainly made me laugh out loud; or as the younger generation says, “it made me LOL.” All jokes aside, is this true? In situations that I know of where men have cheated on good women, this seemed true. That the men were cheating down – messing over a good woman for trash. And the opposite seemed to be true for women. In situations where the woman cheated, it was usually for someone who treated her better than the man she was with.
Your thoughts. Do men cheat down and women cheat up? 
Why Do Men Do This?!
I saw this posted on a Facebook friend’s page and commented, “That’s a great question! Men know the ONE and it does not take 2-3 years to figure it out. Even if they are still trying to figure “life & career” out they know who they want to meet at the altar and who the in the meantime play mates are. I have the privilege to speak about and write about relationships – so I talk to both men and women candidly about relationships all the time. And men have repeatedly told me, they only do what women allow them to get away with … so for the women if you want more – demand more.” This is sad, but in many situations true.
I recall being at a book signing event once, and a man shared with me that he met his now wife in a club. He said that at the time he knew that he was nowhere near ready to be married, but what he did know was that she was “the one”.
What do you think? Why do men do this?!
REAL TALK W/TERRY: GUY PANEL PART 2
I recently had the opportunity to have a conversation with a couple of guys to discuss being single and dating in Silicon Valley. The first part of the show originally aired a few weeks ago, part 2 of the conversation is now available. Some of the questions the guys answered were: what is love, why are men afraid of commitment, is it okay for a woman to approach you and do strong women intimidate men? And more!
Part 2:
Part 1:
Real Talk w/Terry 