Month: June 2014

Originally posted on digitalromanceinc.com

The following post was originally published March 10, 2014 on another blog that I write for and was so popular that I wanted to re-share it on this blog.

If you’re single and casually dating, expectations or lack of can be pretty clear. However, if you’re dating and have been for a year or more, the lines start to blur and for some ladies they may start wondering, “am I ‘the one’?” Based on personal experience in a relationship and subsequent engagement where we had very differing views of how long the engagement period should last, I offer insight into a situation where a woman may be in a long-term relationship or even engagement and is wondering if she is “the one” who will meet this man at the other end of the altar.

If you are receiving mixed signals from your man that are leaving you wondering if the relationship is going anywhere here are some RED FLAGS to look for:

1)      There is no clear commitment. Has he verbally committed to the relationship, stating or discussing that the two of you were in fact in a committed relationship or have you been going through the motions of a relationship;

2)      He only comes over at night. We used to call this a “booty call” … not sure what the in word is for this, but if he only comes over to visit late at night and you usually find yourself in the bedroom, well, you are a booty call;

3)      He is not interested in those things that interest you. Does he show interest in those things that are important to you? A man who cares about his woman and has long-term plans for her will show some sign of interest in the things that are important to her. If he doesn’t show interest in those things that are important to you, well he may not be that in to you;

4)      You have not met his parents? Most men will only introduce you to their parents if they have long-term plans for you. If you have not met his parents, well, this could mean that he either is not ready to introduce you to his parents YET or you just may not be “the one”;

5)      You have not met any of his friends? Like parents, a guy typically will only introduce you to his friends if he has long-term plans to have you in his life. If you have not met any of his friends, he may be thinking short-term.

Some red flags a woman who is casually dating should look for early on if she is trying to determine if a new romance is short-term or has long-term potential are: they have not been on a formal date; brief and/or sporadic communication; he never calls you, you are always calling him; when together, he leaves the room to take phone calls; and there is no public display of affection could all mean that you may be one of many.