Real Talk w/Terry

Where is the TRUST in this relationship?

Seems like forever since I’ve posted on this blog, but it’s only been about a month, the optimist in me keeps saying just a few weeks – I do however appreciate all of my followers and TRUST that you will continue to follow my relationship blog despite the fact that I have not posted as regularly as I have in the past. I am just now realizing how hard it is to consistently write when there is a small infant in your constant care and a pre-schooler who still needs mommy for a lot of things. 🙂

I did however, get a sudden inspiration to post after watching one of my new favorite reality shows, VH1’s “Couples Therapy”; not sure why I’m mesmerized by and must watch this newest reality debacle, but I confess, I’m hooked!

In this particular episode one of the couples, Kasey Kahl (“Bachelorette”) and Vienna Girardi (“The Bachelor”) got into a heated arguement because Kasey had read Vienna’s text messages while she was in the shower and he discovered that she was communicating with another male while they were attending couple’s therapy.

Kasey felt as if their attending the therapy and trying to make amends was a big lie since she was anxiously awaiting meeting up with another man.

Kasey reading Vienna’s text messages brought up a hot issue in the couple’s therapy, is it okay for your partner to go through your cell phone? Dr. Jenn stated that if there is trust in the relationship a partner going through the other’s phone usually is not a problem, but for a couple that already has trust issues – a partner going through the other’s cell phone is a major issue.

Personally, I never think about going through my husband’s cell phone; perhaps, that is because I trust him. Fortunately, he has never given me a reason not to trust him. Besides, snooping on the other partner never solves the underlying problem of trust anyway. When there is an issue with trust, the couple must deal with this head on and begin to build the foundation in their relationship where trust is reestablished.

Rebuilding trust is especially hard for those who have been cheated on – this was discussed by Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife Linda and DMX’s estranged wife Tashera; both women discussed how they felt when they learned that they had been cheated on by their husbands. The episode ended with the couples listening to and trying to help other couples work through their trust issues.

In closing, I once heard the statement, “if you go looking for wrong, you will not find right.” Do you think it is okay for couples to look through their partner’s cell phone?

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