Hats Off: The “S” Word in Marriage

by Dr. Alice Hicks

The Holy Spirit recently dealt with me in prayer about the “S” word. I regret to disappoint, but I’m not talking about sex; although it is very much a part of the equation. For the sake of this blog, I’m referring to “submission”.

Submission, even for some Christians who are married appears to be a dirty word. For example, some brides have gone so far as to remove any inkling of submitting to their husbands from their marriage vows. Yet it doesn’t change the instruction given in Ephesians 5:22-33 that reads: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

I grew up in a home with a bossy mother. My father was quite the opposite. He was known for his quiet strength, but we dared to chance or undermine his authority as the man of the house. With a glare, he could get us in check. Just saying…

Now fast forward to some years later – with me having a husband of my own and me emulating my mother, taking on her bossy ways – my way of making light of my struggle to remain submissive to my husband. While I make light of it, God doesn’t and will use whatever method He deems necessary to show us ourselves. For me, He deals with me greatly in dreams. A few nights ago I had the following dream:

I was starting a new job as a security officer and went for new employee orientation. When I walked into the room I was wearing a blue security uniform. Oddly, enough, I was wearing a purple hat that I (actually) left at my mother’s house in another state during a recent visit. (Are there some things you should have left at your mother’s house?). In the dream, a police officer was in sitting the classroom during the new employee orientation. When I walked into the classroom, he scolded me saying, “Take that hat off!” Recognizing his authority, I immediately obeyed his command. But I thought to myself – he’s not the boss of me – who does he thinks he is – he doesn’t even work here. Being a security officer and he being a police officer, I knew he had jurisdiction over me so I kindly and quickly took my hat off before taking a seat. Holding the hat in my hand, I soon forgot and put it back on my head (indicative of my difficulty to remain submissive). As soon as I did this, I remembered the police officer had given me a directive to remove the hat. I certainly did not want him to think I was purposefully being defiant. I removed the hat a second time without bringing attention to myself. The dream ended.

It was a day later in prayer that the Holy Spirit began to deal with me about the dream, on authority and being submissive to my husband. I shared this revelation in a Facebook post and will share it will you as a means to sound the alarm for women who struggle with remaining under authority.

Maybe you grew up in a home where the woman was in control and now YOU ARE YOUR MOTHER’S DAUGHTER! Perhaps it was never your intent to usurp authority. Whether you put them on consciously or subconsciously, it’s time to remove all of the hats you have been wearing, which was not issued by the authority of the Holy Spirit.

Married women, if you’ve failed to honor your husbands, it’s time to submit! Ladies-in-Waiting, it behooves you to iron out any issues that you have with authority (be it a pastor, parent or anyone in authority (at work or otherwise). Before you say, “I do,” first be able to say, “Honey, my hats off to you!”

Alice is an ordained minister, intercessor, dynamic orator of the Word of God and Gospel recording artist. She is anointed by God to minister to the lost and bring healing to those who are hurting. Through her own adversities, she has developed a heart for hurting and abused women.  By speaking the truth of God’s Word, she has helped women overcome past pains and traumas and discover their freedom in Christ.