Real Talk w/Terry

Married Ladies, “Are you a Help Meet?”

I’ve had the privilege of being a part of a wives’ bible study for the past several weeks. As preparation for our weekly bible study, we were required to read chapters in Debi Pearl’s “Created to Be His Help Meet.”

Mrs. Pearl is not without controversy. Her books and her and her husband’s teachings are highly controversial. Her book reviews reveal that most women do not agree with everything Mrs. Pearl says or advises regarding a woman’s place in the marriage, but do feel that her theology is sound.

During my reading a few of weeks ago, I was intrigued by a position Mrs. Pearl stands firmly behind – the assertion that You [the wife] serve Christ by serving your husband, whether your husband deserves it or not. She further states that wives need to take God at his word and become a help meet for his sake, knowing that they are fulfilling their mission on earth.

The assertion that a woman is fulfilling her mission on earth by serving her husband was the line that I had to reread a couple of times. I actually had to pause and stop reading for a minute thinking that by me being a help meet to my husband, I am actually fulfilling my MISSION on earth. At this point, all sorts of thoughts are running through my mind, I’m thinking, “Lord I respect my position as a wife and want to fully understand what it means to be a help meet, but is that ALL you placed me here on earth to do; to simply be a help meet to my husband? And, if I’m not doing a good job being a help meet, am I somehow disappointing you? Am I not, living out my God given purpose if I’m not serving my husband?” I was quite perplexed at Mrs. Pearl’s assertion.

The many questions I had prompted me to further study what the scripture says about woman and her purpose from the very beginning. In Genesis 2:18, the bible says, “and the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” In the scriptures that follow in verse 19, God creates every beast of the field and every fowl of the air and Adam names them; then in verse 20, Adam continues to name the living creatures, but there was no help meet for him. In verse 21, God causes a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and as he slept, God took one of Adam’s ribs and in verse 22 made woman from the rib he had taken from Adam. God brings the woman to Adam and in verse 23 Adam recognizes the woman as bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. Not only was the woman a suitable help meet for Adam – she was of the same species as Adam. Prior to the creation of woman, Adam had shared the garden with animals.

Based on the previously cited scripture, the Word clearly says that the Lord God realized it was not good for man to be alone, so he created a help meet for him – God created a woman for the man.

After further study of the creation of woman and God’s original intent for woman, not only did my original questions remain, I had additional questions like what about single ladies? Being that they are not married, what is their purpose? After praying for revelation and a clearer understanding of God’s word so that I may apply and live the Word, my conclusion is this, we live in a fallen imperfect world. Our priorities and motives are not always aligned with God’s perfect will for our lives. If we lived in a perfect world the order of God is this, a man who is submitted to God marries a woman where her priority and total submission is to her husband, the husband separates himself from his family and becomes one person in Christ with his wife.

What are your thoughts?

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