Real Talk w/Terry (formerly Relationships-411)

5 Books Every Single Woman Should Read

I love to read. Every since I can remember, I’ve always had a love of books and a love for reading. One of my favorite places has always been the public library – I’m a nerd, I know! During my season of singleness, I had a lot of time to read and spend time in the library and book stores. At one point, I committed my reading to focus on books about marriage and being a wife. I read many books, the following have a special place in my memory bank and I highly recommend them to single women who desire to be married.

 Book_ThePowerOfAPrayingWife  The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian

This book is jam-packed full of advice on praying for specific areas of your husband’s life; areas such as: his work, his sexuality, his temptations, his mind, his fears, and his purpose. If you’re single, you may be wondering, “why am I praying for my husband? I don’t have one yet.” That’s the point, to pray for your husband before he manifest. This is putting faith into action, calling those things that be not as if they were.

  Book_MakingYourHusbandFeelLoved Making Your Husband Feel Loved Compiled by Betty Malz

This book is a collaboration between 20 Christian women who share their secrets for a fresh and exciting marriage. Some of the chapters include: “Little Things Mean a Lot,” “Respect Him,” “Having Fun Together,” and “Encourage Him”. A constant theme in this book is just as the title suggest, “make your husband feel loved”.

Book_LiberatedThroughSubmission   Liberated Through Submission by P.B. Wilson

When I was single, this book was one of my favorites. I’ve read it several times over the years. When you mention the “S” word to many single or married women, it is often met with negative backlash. However, this book opened my eyes to the fact that submission is not a sign of weakness, but of power. And submission is the key to a fulfilling marriage – submission to God’s Word first and foremost.

Book_KnightInShiningArmor   Knight in Shining Armor by P.B. Wilson

This one, another one of my favorites when I was single; I’ve read it several times as well. One of my cousins gave me this book and after reading it, I was compelled to take a vow of celibacy and began preparing myself for my future husband. This book started me on my journey to being a wife.

Cover1   No Longer a Bridesmaid! by Terry Cato

I have a special affection for this title since Yours Truly authored it. I was led to write No Longer a Bridesmaid! after attending a marriage enrichment class at my church. My Pastor’s wife, who knew my testimony of being single, celibate, and believing God for a husband for seven years prior to getting married asked me to share my testimony with the single ladies who were in attendance. On the drive home, the concept for the book was conceived.

There are many books out there both Christian and secular that gives wonderful advice to single ladies and men. When I was single, I don’t remember there being so many books devoted to singles – perhaps that shortage is what fueled the abundance of resources that is now on the market. The aforementioned books don’t begin to even scratch the surface of what is out there. I merely wanted to share a few of my favorites.

Happy reading!

Interview: Pastor Chad Johnson

PastorChadJohnson

Founder: Elevate Ministries

Title: Team Chaplain, Pittsburgh Steelers

Spring Chaplain, LA Dodgers

Founder & President, Elevate Intl.

Degree in Christian Ministries

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with a long-time friend and brother in the ministry, Pastor Chad Johnson to discuss his work in the ministry with professional athletes and his state of singleness.

Occupation: Pastor Chad (PCJ) is the Chaplain for the NFL’s Pittsburgh Steelers and MLB’s LA Dodgers. He provides pastoral services for the sports teams in addition to life coaching for players, their families and administration. He leads player and coach bible studies, and team chapel before games. Some of his other duties include: conducting couple’s bible study, performing baptismal, making hospital visits, personal prayer, one-on-one discipleship, and mentoring.

Read more…

Always a Bridesmaid!

I stumbled upon an article, Being a Bridesmaid has a Price that posed the question, why hasn’t someone written a book, a tell-all about the nuances of being a bridesmaid. I answered in the comment section that I had in fact written my memoir, No Longer a Bridesmaid which is a tell-all of sorts about the highs and lows of being a perpetual bridesmaid. In fact there is a section in the book called “Always a Bridesmaid” that discusses my personal experience as a bridesmaid for several of my close friends, the infamous list that most single women have, and my personal journey of how I prepared myself to become a wife while I was single.

Bridesmaid Image

This book was my first and I self-published it. In retrospect I sometimes wonder, maybe I should have pursued an Agent a bit harder to see if my first book could have been picked up by a big publishing firm; and have a shot at being thrust into the spotlight. In the big scheme of things, I don’t regret self-publishing my book, I do however regret that not very many people know that such an inspirational piece of literature exist. My prayer has always been that despite being a relatively unknown author that my book would be read by those who needed it. I echo the sentiment that was expressed by a small press owner who read my book – to give professional feedback – the only bad thing she could say was that not very many people knew that the book even exist.

Cover1

Being Single is a Choice, Not a Lack of Options

GiveThanks_blogAs we approach the time of year where a lot of couples seem to get engaged and many singles tend to get depressed, I felt compelled to share on the topic of being single. Although I personally am not single, I’m approaching my 10 year wedding anniversary, I can however relate to perhaps every emotion a single adult has felt. From feeling utter disdain at this time of the year, to feeling jubilant at the carefreeness of life and options regarding holiday planning, to feeling indifferent regarding all the merriment.

 

terry411cato
Relationships-411

I can remember a time during my season of singleness where I had to remind myself that my state of being single was not because there were not options for me – that if I really wanted to be in a relationship by all means I could be. I was single by choice because I was preparing myself for something and someone great. When I made the decision to stop dating and begin preparing myself to be a wife and mother to some of my friends this seemed a bit radical. I often got (and still get) the question, “if you are not dating, how will you find a husband?” I responded by saying, “the Word of God says that He that findeth a wife, finds a good thing.” It is not my job to “find” a husband, when I am ready, my husband will find me! And sure enough, when I least expected, a man came along and noticed me.

RelationshipsQuote_blog

The man who would eventually become my husband noticed me volunteering in the youth and children’s ministry at my church. This in and of itself is a miracle, because those who have volunteered in children’s and youth ministries know that these ministry workers are typically the least visible people in the church. He asked me out, I accepted, and was quite surprised to learn that not only did he notice me, but had asked trusted friends and confidents about me before even asking me out.

Cover1Our entire courtship and subsequent engagement is truly a beautiful testimony of what God will do when we allow Him to be the Master of our fate. I detail my 7-year journey of being single, celibate and believing God for husband in the memoir, No Longer a Bridesmaid! In less than 175 pages, I share my personal story of preparing for my God-ordained mate. If you’re looking for an inspirational read this holiday season, I strongly recommend, No Longer a Bridesmaid!

 

What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas?

ImageTis the season to be jolly
But how can I be when I have nobody
The yuletide carol doesn’t make it better
Knowing that we won’t be together

A silent night, I know it’s gonna be
Joy to the world but it’s gonna be sad for me

What do the lonely do at Christmas?
Oh, what do the lonely do at Christmas time?

The children can play with their new toys
While their little hearts burst open with joy
And lovers can kiss beneath the mistletoes
The choirs can sing those glorious songs of old

But what is left, oh, for me to do
Now that it’s Christmas and I don’t have you

What do the lonely do at Christmas?
Oh, what do the lonely do at Christmas time?

Oh, what do the lonely do at Christmas?
What do the lonely do at Christmas?
Oh, what do they do, what do they do at Christmas? Ooh, what do they do, what do they do at Christmas?

Oh, what do the lonely do at Christmas?
What do the lonely do at Christmas?
Oh, what do they do, what do they do at Christmas?

Songwriters
BANKS, HOMER / HAMPTON, CARL MITCHELL

Published by
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

sad woman

Are you once again singing, “What do the lonely do at Christmas?” This time of the year can be extremely difficult for individuals who are single and/or don’t have close family near them to spend the holidays with. The recent news story about a young lady near Sacramento California really touched my heart. She posted an ad on Craigslist for a family to spend Christmas day with. She offered to pay $8.00 an hour for their time. I was moved to tears listening to her story thinking that even though my family tree has a few nuts, that I am truly blessed to have family to spend the holidays with and can’t imagine not spending every holiday with my family of fruit cakes.

After posting her ad, this young lady was overwhelmed with responses from people offering to spend Christmas day with her – free of charge. Additionally, she received many responses from other young people who much like her did not have family to spend the holiday with. As a result, she organized a meet and greet event where she paired young people who had nowhere to go for Christmas with a family who offered to open their home and host a guest. She not only found someone for herself to spend Christmas with, but she also helped several other young people find families to spend Christmas with as well. I tell you, this is the Christmas spirit in its purest form – giving to those in need without getting anything in return.

Oftentimes, those of us who are fortunate to have family around tend to take for granted the importance of having family in our lives; and we forget about those who have no family to spend the holidays with. I encourage everyone who has family to spend Christmas day with to embrace a single person and invite them over for dinner. This could mean the world to that person who may not have anywhere to go on Christmas day.

volunteer_food bank

If you are single and find that you have no one to share Christmas day with, but would like to, I suggest that you find other single individuals who may not have plans and do a potluck style meal then enjoy a movie as a group, or play games. Even if you only get together for dessert and games do something social with other people. You can also volunteer at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen that is open on Christmas day to feed the less fortunate; whatever you choose to do, please choose to not spend the day alone feeling sorry for yourself.

Merry Christmas!

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