Real Talk w/Terry


A few weeks ago, I briefly watched a portion of a daytime talk show where they were profiling cheating spouses. There was a wife on the show who was tired of the swinger’s lifestyle and wanted out. The husband however, did not want to let go of the lifestyle. At that time, I was not sure how the “swingers’ lifestyle” operated, but this particular couple invited other partners into their marriage for pay. The man stated that he never had relations without his wife being present. And that this was only for pleasure/leisure, he insisted that he was not having an affair with another woman.  The wife was not fully convinced that her husband was not having an affair. After listening to their interview for a few minutes, I was inclined to research the swinger’s lifestyle. And I was quite surprised at how popular this alternative lifestyle is.

Swinging, graduated from wife swapping – a now antiquated term, is defined as non-monogamous behavior among married couples or those in a committed relationship where they have sexual relations with other partners. These hook-ups can take place in informal gatherings, at formal Swinger Club locations or at planned Swinger events. This lifestyle is thought to be born of the 1960s sexual revolution that came about as a result of the birth control pill and better treatment for sexual transmitted diseases. Research conducted since 2000 shows that there are approximately 15 million people who consider themselves Swingers and swing on a regular basis.

I personally do not understand the appeal of opening up your bed of intimacy to other partners. I’ve actually addressed this phenomenon as it relates to marriages in a previous blog post “Open Marriages” ( Some argue that it’s for the excitement, for a change, or as the husband on the talk show for leisure. Me personally, I think opening up the marriage bed to other partners invite in all sorts of problems.

What are your thoughts – what do you say?

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