Real Talk w/Terry


A few weeks ago, I briefly watched a portion of a daytime talk show where they were profiling cheating spouses. There was a wife on the show who was tired of the swinger’s lifestyle and wanted out. The husband however, did not want to let go of the lifestyle. At that time, I was not sure how the “swingers’ lifestyle” operated, but this particular couple invited other partners into their marriage for pay. The man stated that he never had relations without his wife being present. And that this was only for pleasure/leisure, he insisted that he was not having an affair with another woman.  The wife was not fully convinced that her husband was not having an affair. After listening to their interview for a few minutes, I was inclined to research the swinger’s lifestyle. And I was quite surprised at how popular this alternative lifestyle is.

Swinging, graduated from wife swapping – a now antiquated term, is defined as non-monogamous behavior among married couples or those in a committed relationship where they have sexual relations with other partners. These hook-ups can take place in informal gatherings, at formal Swinger Club locations or at planned Swinger events. This lifestyle is thought to be born of the 1960s sexual revolution that came about as a result of the birth control pill and better treatment for sexual transmitted diseases. Research conducted since 2000 shows that there are approximately 15 million people who consider themselves Swingers and swing on a regular basis.

I personally do not understand the appeal of opening up your bed of intimacy to other partners. I’ve actually addressed this phenomenon as it relates to marriages in a previous blog post “Open Marriages” ( Some argue that it’s for the excitement, for a change, or as the husband on the talk show for leisure. Me personally, I think opening up the marriage bed to other partners invite in all sorts of problems.

What are your thoughts – what do you say?

2 thoughts on “SWINGER’S CLUB ANYONE?”

  1. Terry, hello! Important subject in this post. I truly believe it rarely works. I was approached in the same way by my former husband-“oh, would never do anything without you” – what a bunch of BS. Just their way to open pandora’s box. I was a fool, but I told him up front I thought it would change our relationship forever… did, and I paid for my weakness and curiousity for thirty years (in my mind and heart) – Oh it was fun temporarily (with the aid of alcohol to relax me), but it did change everything, hence, divorce. The price for the fun was horribly high.
    Each of us needs to be strong enough to say NO if it is against our own Spirit and heart.
    I wish I had. I am grateful over and over for the love and forgiveness of our Master.

    1. Once again, thank you Marsha for responding! I enjoy reading your insight into the various relationship issues or topics that I post. I totally agree with you that this sort of “arrangement” rarely works especially in the long term. And I stand on my argument, if you want an open relationship or marriage, why even get married or agree to be in a committed relationship in the first place – just stay single! I am glad you were able to move forward and receive forgiveness – we are never too deep in sin to be saved by God’s never ending grace.

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