Real Talk w/Terry

Another One Bites the Dust!

You made it through Red Tuesday, which was one week before Valentines Day; and the day when you were most likely to get dumped. And you made it through Valentines Day, now what?!

I personally am not a fan of Valentines Day, I respect the effort to set aside a day for love, but honestly shouldn’t we all be more conscious about showing the one we love how much we admire and care foValentines boxr them at any time? Do we really need for society to “set aside” a day for us? Many say NO. And for that reason, they purposely rebel and don’t recognize Valentines Day at all.

If this is you, I suggest the following to keep the love and romance alive 24/7, 365:

1) Random Acts of Kindness. When your mate least expect it, surprise them with something nice. If they like flowers – send their favorite floral arrangement to their job or have a nice bouquet waiting for them when they get home from work; if they like the spa – give them a spa certificate, a gift card to their favorite coffee shop or department store, the list goes on, be creative;

2) Date Nights. I can not stress enough the importance of not just date nights, but a couple spending quality time together; not talking about the kids or the bills. But sharing your heart with your mate – highs, lows, disappointments, accomplishments, etc.;

3) Words of Affirmation. Saying nice, kind words to your mate is gold. A little goes a long way. Your words should be authentic and from the heart – not even mushy. But simple affirmations like “I appreciate you”, “You look very nice today”, “I like the cologne/perfume you’re wearing”, and “thank you for _____”;

4) A hug and a kiss. What man or woman doesn’t appreciate an unexpected hug and kiss? This is a simple way to show your love and appreciation for your mate –  displays of affection cost nothing but effort; and

5) Listen to them. This is easier said than done for most of us. Often time, our mate simply want to be heard. There is no charge associated with listening. I was taught, we were given two ears and one mouth for a reason – we should be listening twice as much as we talk. Selah.

Finally, be random and opt for the surprise element. But remember to KISS: keep it simple.

5 Reasons Why I Hate Valentine’s Day

RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HATE VALENTINE’S DAY. Now that we are a little more than a week removed from Valentine’s Day – I must make a confession – I don’t particularly like, in fact, I hate Valentine’s Day. But, I like so many others, feel the pressure to participate in a forced day to show my love and appreciation for my loved ones!

ValentinesDay_ILoveYou2The sentiment of love and appreciation that is expressed on February 14 should be shown through-out the year. And me personally, I try to do just that – show my loved ones that I appreciate and love them randomly and authentically when I feel the unction to do so – and hate that I fall prey every year to the pressure to conform and participate in the highly commercial Valentine’s Day! I get it, not everyone is romantic, and not everyone will go the extra to express their feelings to their loved ones – so, we as a society need a designated day to do so. I’m not a modern day Scrooge, just a realist. I have my reasons for my strong disdain of V-Day. Read more…


Well Singles, you can all officially say goodbye to Valentine’s Day! February 15th marks a new day AND today is your day, Happy Singles Awareness Day!

Happy Singles Awareness Day

This past week, I’ve read a couple of blogs and tweets that have referred to Valentine’s Day as “Singles Awareness Day”, “Singles Realization Day”, and “Singles Appreciation Day”. None of which existed when I was single. I further researched S.A.D. and learned that Singles Awareness (Appreciation) Day was actually a comedic spin on Valentine’s Day and is celebrated on either February 13th or February 15th, but most commonly celebrated on February 15th, the day after Valentine’s Day. On Singles Appreciation Day many Singles get together, or meet up and celebrate being single. The Singles also buy themselves a gift or do a gift exchange. Some Singles even opt to travel or volunteer on this day.

I was overjoyed and ecstatic as I read the many Facebook posts from those women in a romantic relationship posting pictures of their flowers and other gifts on Valentine’s Day. I was thinking, “Wow, the men are really stepping up this year.” I was also empathetic to those single women who declared that they would purposely stay off of Facebook on Valentine’s Day to avoid all the lovey dovey posts and pictures of Valentine’s Day gifts.

This left me thinking, “Is this day that much of a burden to bear for Single Women?” Do singles realize on this day that they are perhaps once again alone?  Have some realized that they are nothing more than a “friend with benefits”, a “bootie call”, or an “easy lay”? Well, Singles if this describes you – cheer up, you made it to February 15th – the day that is all about you. There’s still time: get your party clothes on, grab some friends, go out and celebrate you. You don’t have to be in a relationship to have a good time. You really don’t even need friends to have a good time. If you are a good time, wherever you go and whatever you do, you will have fun. I read somewhere that before someone else can love you, you must love yourself first.  What a true statement indeed.


If you were one of the Singles who were down and perhaps depressed on Valentine’s Day – there is no reason for that – you have February 15th. Get up, get dressed, go out and have a good time. You may just surprise yourself.


bad all by myself premiere 2 080909Last year shortly after Valentine’s Day Actor, Playwright and Director Tyler Perry made a comment that “Valentine’s Day is for Wimps” that real men show their love the entire year and not just one day of the year.

I was like, “yes! You speaking truth Tyler Perry.” I couldn’t have said it better. I agree whole heartedly with Tyler, however, I stop there. As a woman, I would never tell my significant other that Valentine’s Day is for wimps and that real men show their love the entire year. You ask why? Because my momma didn’t raise no fool. First off, words are a powerful tool. The words that a woman speaks to her man can tear him down or build him up. A statement such as that coming from a woman to her man in my opinion will do nothing good for the relationship. This sort of statement to be meaningful must come from another man.

A woman who has a mate that is less than romantic or he is not very thoughtful in the gift giving area may be tempted to prompt her mate to be a little more giving. If you are that woman, my suggestion is to praise your mate when he does do something that you like or find thoughtful. For example, if he is the Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Birthday, and Mother’s Day gift giver – really praise him verbally and let him know how much you appreciate his thoughtfulness for your gift. Even after the fact, sporadically mention how much you like or appreciate the gift that he gave you or how much you think about and like when he did a thoughtful thing for you. Dropping little hints like “I really wish you would be more thoughtful” or “you should try to be more romantic” will not work – this is a woman’s thing and does not work with men. Those statements are too vague. If you want your husband or mate to do something be specific and direct about it – avoid hints because men don’t get them and you will end up frustrated and mad feeling as though he is not paying you any attention.

valentines day pic

Now being that Valentine’s Day is a little less than a week away, what are your thoughts? Is Valentine’s Day really for wimps? If so ladies, please don’t tell your man that!

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