Real Talk w/Terry: Podcast Trailer
You spoke – we listened. I’m pleased to officially announce that the Real Talk w/Terry podcast has launched! The team and I are excited to add a podcast to the Real Talk w/Terry platform. Never miss an episode by subscribing to the Podcast on Apple iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify.
Don’t fret, if Podcasts are not your thing, you can still find our TV episodes archived on YouTube. And as always, if you are in the Bay Area, you can still watch Real Talk w/Terry on Sundays at 1:00 PM on Comcast 15.
Karma is a Bih!
That’s right, karma is a bih; and I don’t feel sorry for Khole Kardashian. Not that she needs my pity – she has her sisters and her gazillion fans, they got her. Unless you’ve been out of the country or under a rock, you have probably heard by now the confirmed rumors that her NBA boyfriend and baby daddy, Tristan Thompson has been caught cheating with among others an “Instagram Model” and stripper.
When it comes to infidelity in relationships, I was taught that the same way you got him will be the same way you lose him. We all remember Khloe proudly displaying her relationship with Thompson across social media while his very pregnant ex-girlfriend was due to give birth to their son. However, I don’t think Khloe ever thought she would be in a similar predicament.
Much respect to Tristan’s ex who quietly moved on with her life and allowed him the space to flaunt his new relationship with Khloe while she birthed and cared for their son. I love her response to the debacle, “If you respect yourself and you respect others, you would never make light of the misfortune of anyone, nor would you feel indemnified when it comes at the expense of others. Wishing peace for everyone.” Such a classy response. On the other hand, its human nature and we all know that she is basking in a sea of private gratification right now. Go on girl, you deserve it.
No matter how Khloe decides to move forward, I really do wish her the best. Everyone deserves to be happy and have the desires of their heart. Best wishes.
For More: Khloe Kardashian gives birth to first child
Inside Tristan Thompson’s Life Before Khloe Kardashian: Girlfriends, Scandals and His Road to NBA Riches
Pregnant Khloé ‘went ballistic’ when she found out about Tristan’s cheating
Tristan Thompson Booed During First Game Since Allegations He Cheated on Pregnant Khloé Kardashian
Relationships-411’s Founder Terry Cato
I was honored to be featured on the Cal-State East Bay’s blog site recently.
Full article here:
I Saw my Friend’s Husband Having Dinner with Another Woman…
Question: I saw my friend’s husband having dinner with another woman. What should I do?
My answer: Nothing.
A few months ago, I saw a married man I know at a gas station with another woman. Initially, I thought, “I know this man, I know his wife and the woman he is with right now is not his wife”. For me, this situation was a no-brainer. This is not my business, not my concern – keep it moving. First and foremost, I realize that things aren’t always what they seem. For all I know, this woman could have been his cousin, his niece, a co-worker, etc. The exchange could have been totally innocent. Second, even if infidelity on the husband’s part was true, I have no idea what their marriage arrangement or agreement is. Quite honestly some wives look the other way when their husband’s cheat and don’t want to know about his indiscretions. Third, I didn’t know the wife well enough to discuss such a sensitive topic. 
Back to the original question, “I saw my friend’s husband having dinner with another woman. What should I do?” In this situation, the individual saw their friend’s husband in a what appears to be compromising situation. If this friend is a really close friend, they probably already know a great deal about the person’s relationship status. Therefore, simply casually mentioning that you saw her husband at dinner should be enough. If she wants more detail, share without accusing the husband of anything and let your friend take it from there. Who knows, this could have been a business meeting with a client.
Remember things aren’t always what the seem.
2014 in review …Thanks for being a part of it!
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,800 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.
Ask Terry411
July 29, 2014
This is a question that was posted on Facebook:
In a marriage, who should pay all the bills, the husband or the wife?
My edited response:
Depends on the agreement of the husband and wife, every household is different and as someone else mentioned this sounds like a question for a married couple with separate bank accounts.
My thought on it, as husband and wife you have joint bank accounts that all your money goes into, therefore when you are paying bills it is not who is going to pay this bill or that but the combined money pays all the bills.
What are your thoughts?
Food for thought ~ over the years finances have always ranked among the top 3 reasons why couples divorce.
ASK TERRY
March 17, 2014
Dear Terry,
What are your thoughts on a woman making more than her man?
-Primary Breadwinner
Dear Primary Breadwinner,
I have no issue with a woman making more income than her man; but then again, I am a woman. This question is highly personal and the best person to ask is a man as their answers will vary based on several factors including their level of self-esteem, how they value money and if it is tied to self-worth, and their view on gender and roles.
I do have a perspective on this issue, since I know of situations where the wife makes more than the husband; and know that for some marriages and relationships this is indeed an issue when the woman makes more money than the man. Modern Day career women have the privilege of being more educated and having more vocation opportunities available to them than women did 50 years ago; and now, more woman than ever work outside the home which has resulted in a vast number of women who have excelled in their career and has resulted in them making just as much as and in many cases more than their spouse. I have witnessed instances where men have publically stated that they do not have an issue with their wife making more money than they do, however, behind closed doors the sentiment is quite different. I actually switched up the AskTerry segment this week and led the Twitter discussion last Thursday to assess people’s general view on this subject. The discussion in summation was that some men do have a problem with their partner making more money than they do because of 1) traditional views of the male being the primary breadwinner, 2) male ego, and 3) men being intimidated by a woman who can provide for herself. There are some things a woman can do to ensure that she does not make her partner feel inferior if she does make more money than he. The first and most important is that she does not belittle his salary or efforts as a provider of the household. Second, the spouse that handles the finances should be the one who is more knowledgeable and responsible in the area of finances and not necessarily the one who makes the most money; in other words, roles in the house or for the family should not be determined by who makes the most money. Finally, the wife should never ever use that fact that she makes more money as a “one up” on her husband insinuating or stating that she is in fact the one holding the house down.
DISCLAIMER: The information or advice in this column should not be substituted for professional counseling. The thoughts expressed in the “Ask Terry” segment of the Relationships-411 blog are the thoughts and opinions of the writer and should be viewed as information and entertainment only. By submitting a question to the column you are hereby granting us permission to publish your question on this blog.
Twitter Chat: Don’t forget to join us on Thurs (8 pm CST/9 EST) for Twitter Chat at #AskTerry to weigh in on the week’s questions. If you have a relationship question or dilemma, email it to ask@terrycato.com
ASK TERRY
March 6, 2014
Dear Terry,
Recently I saw a friend of mine husband casually socializing and having lunch with a woman in the park. A time or two, I thought I saw him lean over close to her. My initial thought was to go over and speak to him and introduce myself to the woman but I didn’t; so he has no idea that I was in the area at that time and saw him. Should I tell my friend?
Sincerely,
Conflicted
Dear Conflicted,
Your question sounds simple enough and pretty straight forward. To clear your conscience being that this is your friend’s husband, I say, yes tell her. You should not editorialize what you saw and draw any conclusions that could influence your friend’s thinking in any way. Simply tell her that you saw [name of her husband] having lunch in the park with someone; then allow her to handle or address the situation. She may have even known about the lunch and the person. The lady that your friend’s husband was having lunch with could very well have been a co-worker and they were discussing business. Or she could be a platonic friend or a relative. I strongly suggest that you not draw conclusions to what you saw in any shape form or fashion – looks can sometimes be very deceiving.
Yours truly,
Terry
DISCLAIMER: The information or advice in this column should not be substituted for professional counseling. The thoughts expressed in the “Ask Terry” segment of the Relationships-411 blog are the thoughts and opinions of the writer and should be viewed as information and entertainment only. By submitting a question to the column you are hereby granting us permission to publish your question on this blog.
Twitter Chat: Don’t forget to join us on Thurs (8 pm CST/9 EST) for Twitter Chat at #AskTerry to weigh in on the week’s questions. If you have a relationship question or dilemma, email it to ask@terrycato.com
ASK TERRY
February 26, 2014
Dear Terry,
How many chances do you give to a cheating spouse or an abusive spouse/significant other?
-Almost Fed-up
Dear Almost Fed-up,
Wow, there’s a saying that goes, “short and sweet” my spin on this cliché as it relates to your letter is that it is “short and bitter”. There is no right or wrong answer to your question since the answer will vary based on each individual situation. And it appears from your question that you may be asking for perhaps yourself and/or someone else because there are two parts to your question: 1) a cheating spouse OR 2) an abusive spouse/significant other.
Due to the sensitive nature of your questions, I will keep my answers brief. First of all, if you or someone you know is being physically assaulted, you/they should seek safety. I am not a domestic violence expert and suggest that help be sought out. As far as the infidelity is concerned, there are some women who cannot forgive a cheating partner and others who can move past it. That being said there is no magic number as to how many chances you give a cheating spouse – this answer will vary for each individual.
Finally, there have been previous posts to this blog about infidelity (http://terry411cato.com/?s=infidelity&submit=Search) and domestic violence (http://terry411cato.com/2011/09/23/what%e2%80%99s-love-go-to-do-with-it/). Please refer to these posts for additional information, resources, and encouragement.
DISCLAIMER: The information or advice in this column should not be substituted for professional counseling. The thoughts expressed in the “Ask Terry” segment of the Relationships-411 blog are the thoughts and opinions of the writer and should be viewed as information and entertainment only. By submitting a question to the column you are hereby granting us permission to publish your question on this blog.
Twitter Chat: Don’t forget to join us on Thurs (8 pm CST/9 EST) for Twitter Chat at #AskTerry to weigh in on the week’s questions. If you have a relationship question or dilemma, email it to ask@terrycato.com
ASK TERRY
February 14, 2014
Dear Terry,
Is it okay for a female to shower a male with gifts for Valentine’s Day or is this day strictly for females to receive gifts from a male? –Just Wondering
Dear Just Wondering,
There is no written rule regarding Valentine’s Day gift giving etiquette. The history of Valentine’s Day is shrouded in mystery and has evolved into what it is today; showing love and appreciation for those special to you. Now-a-days parents give Valentine’s to their children, kids exchange simple Valentine’s at school and those with a romantic interest exchange gifts showing their love and appreciation for the other. As a matter of courtesy, I would say that a male and a female should exchange gifts. If the couple is unmarried and just dating, the gift exchange should be simple and inexpensive; the gift exchange for a married couple – well, the sky is the limit. Happy Valentine’s Day!!
___________________________________________
Dear Terry,
I am currently dating the ex-boyfriend of an acquaintance from college. We graduated from the University almost 15 years ago and haven’t really kept in contact over the years; so we are not friends per se now, and were mere acquaintances in college. I have no problem with dating him, however, a couple of mutual friends are giving me a hard time, saying that I broke the “girlfriend code” by dating someone that one of our friends from college dated. What are your thoughts? Did I break the girlfriend code?
–Confused
Dear Confused,
You made a key point regarding the “girlfriend code” that you and this person were acquaintances, not close friends in college; also sounds like you two have mutual friends. That being understood, I personally do not feel that you broke the girlfriend code. On the other hand, had you and this individual been friends in college, my answer would obviously be different and a bit more complicated. For example, if a friend has dated a guy in the past, is he off limits forever? Even if the friend passes away, is her ex still off limits? What about high school ex-boyfriends, are they off limit as well? Regarding the latter, this will vary based on the friendship and my advice is to assess your friendship with someone before dating their ex, and ask them if they are comfortable with you dating an ex-boyfriend. You may find that you have to choose – don’t be surprised.
_________________
DISCLAIMER: The information or advice in this column should not be substituted for professional counseling. The thoughts expressed in the “Ask Terry” segment of the Relationships-411 blog are the thoughts and opinions of the writer and should be viewed as information and entertainment only. By submitting a question to this column you are hereby granting us permission to publish your question on this blog.
Twitter Chat: Don’t forget to join us on Thurs (8 pm CST/9 EST) for Twitter Chat at #AskTerry to weigh in on the week’s questions
Real Talk w/Terry 