ASK TERRY

February 14, 2014

Dear Terry,
Is it okay for a female to shower a male with gifts for Valentine’s Day or is this day strictly for females to receive gifts from a male? –Just Wondering

Dear Just Wondering,
There is no written rule regarding Valentine’s Day gift giving etiquette. The history of Valentine’s Day is shrouded in mystery and has evolved into what it is today; showing love and appreciation for those special to you. Now-a-days parents give Valentine’s to their children, kids exchange simple Valentine’s at school and those with a romantic interest exchange gifts showing their love and appreciation for the other. As a matter of courtesy, I would say that a male and a female should exchange gifts. If the couple is unmarried and just dating, the gift exchange should be simple and inexpensive; the gift exchange for a married couple – well, the sky is the limit. Happy Valentine’s Day!!

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Dear Terry,
I am currently dating the ex-boyfriend of an acquaintance from college. We graduated from the University almost 15 years ago and haven’t really kept in contact over the years; so we are not friends per se now, and were mere acquaintances in college. I have no problem with dating him, however, a couple of mutual friends are giving me a hard time, saying that I broke the “girlfriend code” by dating someone that one of our friends from college dated. What are your thoughts? Did I break the girlfriend code?
–Confused

Dear Confused,
You made a key point regarding the “girlfriend code” that you and this person were acquaintances, not close friends in college; also sounds like you two have mutual friends. That being understood, I personally do not feel that you broke the girlfriend code. On the other hand, had you and this individual been friends in college, my answer would obviously be different and a bit more complicated. For example, if a friend has dated a guy in the past, is he off limits forever? Even if the friend passes away, is her ex still off limits? What about high school ex-boyfriends, are they off limit as well? Regarding the latter, this will vary based on the friendship and my advice is to assess your friendship with someone before dating their ex, and ask them if they are comfortable with you dating an ex-boyfriend. You may find that you have to choose – don’t be surprised.

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DISCLAIMER: The information or advice in this column should not be substituted for professional counseling. The thoughts expressed in the “Ask Terry” segment of the Relationships-411 blog are the thoughts and opinions of the writer and should be viewed as information and entertainment only. By submitting a question to this column you are hereby granting us permission to publish your question on this blog.

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