Real Talk w/Terry


February 26, 2014

Dear Terry,

How many chances do you give to a cheating spouse or an abusive spouse/significant other?

-Almost Fed-up

Dear Almost Fed-up,

Wow, there’s a saying that goes, “short and sweet” my spin on this cliché as it relates to your letter is that it is “short and bitter”. There is no right or wrong answer to your question since the answer will vary based on each individual situation. And it appears from your question that you may be asking for perhaps yourself and/or someone else because there are two parts to your question: 1) a cheating spouse OR 2) an abusive spouse/significant other.

Due to the sensitive nature of your questions, I will keep my answers brief. First of all, if you or someone you know is being physically assaulted, you/they should seek safety. I am not a domestic violence expert and suggest that help be sought out. As far as the infidelity is concerned, there are some women who cannot forgive a cheating partner and others who can move past it. That being said there is no magic number as to how many chances you give a cheating spouse – this answer will vary for each individual.

Finally, there have been previous posts to this blog about infidelity ( and domestic violence ( Please refer to these posts for additional information, resources, and encouragement.

DISCLAIMER: The information or advice in this column should not be substituted for professional counseling. The thoughts expressed in the “Ask Terry” segment of the Relationships-411 blog are the thoughts and opinions of the writer and should be viewed as information and entertainment only. By submitting a question to the column you are hereby granting us permission to publish your question on this blog.

Twitter Chat: Don’t forget to join us on Thurs (8 pm CST/9 EST) for Twitter Chat at #AskTerry to weigh in on the week’s questions. If you have a relationship question or dilemma, email it to

2 thoughts on “ASK TERRY”

  1. Very nice you take the time to try to help people who seek help. So many people have no where to turn, and sometimes just a word can help them survive. God bless you. Keep it up!

    1. Thanks Marsha! You are correct, a lot of people just want someone who will listen and not judge. The AskTerry segment came about as a result of that very thing – many people sending me emails and in-box messages about their relationship dilemmas and issues. Thanks for your support!! 🙂

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